Choosing Yes

Yes is one of my favorite words. It leads to wonderful adventures. I've never taken an improv class, but I do know the general principle of "yes, and..." verses "no, but..." and try to apply it to life. I'm a firm believer in choice - it was instilled to me daily at Albany High. The morning announcements followed by, "Make it a great day or not, the choice is yours." We laughed about it then, but it was a good message (and clearly I remember it, so it worked). 

There is a fine line between saying yes to get involved in new things, challenge yourself, and enjoy adventures and getting involved in too many things, stretching yourself thin, and over committing. I don't flirt much, but this is a line I can't seem to stay away from. Work in progress. I've always been curious, but never thought about the power of yes, until I started reading Yes and Yes.

Very important lesson I learned this year - when you hit capacity, you also have to stop some things in order to keep saying yes to new things. This was hard for me. I'm a loyal person, I like to stick with things. Sometimes we have to learn when we've made our impact and need to move on to new things, letting someone else have the opportunity to take over and make their mark. Life happens, circumstances change, it's ok. Everything will be ok. Still say yes.

Focusing on the "yes" ... this is snapshot of where Yes has taken me recently:

• Starting a "Bloody Mary Club"
• Traveling alone - a local coffee shop, park, beer can house, and Astros game in Houston
• November camping in a barn, with 13 new friends, and a donkey named Sherman
• Delivering the eulogy for my grandpa's funeral, an emotional stretch for me that also reminded me that I love to write (and lead to the start of this blog)
• Plane tickets to Morocco, and a two week adventure ahead
• 6th Street in Austin with a woman I met on the plane earlier that day (and new TC friend!)
• Visiting the Ice Sculptures and attending a hockey game in Houghton, MI
• Discovering the Twin Cities local comedy scene
• Subscription to a local theater group, and tickets to four productions
• 4 "new to me" bands at Varsity Theater ... and staying out til 1am on a work night
• Dancing with friends in an emptying theater 
• Conversations about dreams, life, and ambitions with complete strangers

So there is more, but this is what I could think of at the moment. It's important to reflect on the choices we make. There will always be an option to say no, come up with an excuse, or take an easier way out. My challenge to myself and those around me, is to say yes. So much more fun.

2014 Goals: February Update

I've always assumed I would continue my education past a bachelors degree. I love learning, and always enjoyed school...yes, from kindergarten through university. By the end I was ready to be done, and start putting the education to use in a career - but my love for learning has never gone away.

At first I was going to go back to school after working a few years for Students Today Leaders Forever. Then I found a new opportunity at Ecolab, and decided to jump in there. It seemed a little silly to choose learning or contributing through work when I figured out how to do both at once (and get paid verses accruing more debt!) In addition, I wasn't sure what I wanted to get a masters degree in - HR, Leadership, MBA - or where I wanted to get it - London, Minnesota, North Carolina. Also, I hate standardized tests and I don't want to study for one. Graduate degrees make sense and work for a lot of people, I'm just not entirely sure I'm one of them yet.

With the amount I currently travel for work, I don't have capacity to participate in an in-person program. This made it easy to push off the studying, testing, and application process. I know there is value in advanced degrees, and eventually someone may tell me that I need another degree to be qualified for something... but I work for a CEO that has a bachelors in English AND I know a lot of incredible people who are students of life that learn and contribute to the world without a fancy piece of paper saying they can.

So while I remain unsure about my future in graduate school - I will continue to be a student of life, learning from adventure, reading novels like text books, and having an RSS feed to articles of world news, business journals, and blogs of people who dream, challenge norms, and do awesome work, etc.

Adventures for 2014

• Trying new forms of moving and exercising

Still not doing very well. I have a yoga partner lined up for when I start though. I travel less in March - snow shoeing will happen! (Someone hold me to that)

• Cooking for one (beyond pasta and eggs)
  
  Lots of eating out this month...and tupperware lasagna (noodles, sauce, cheese in a tupperware) BUT I did participate in a fantastic West African feast with friends this month, followed by crepes the next morning. I cut up the fruit.

• Practicing self-care
• Drinking more water
• Getting more sleep, kind of. Up to 6-7 hours/night consistently
• Lavender essential oil for calming

• Mixing different friend groups/life circles
• Sharing Global Shaper friends' projects with my work and STLF circles
• Found out my old Res Hall staff from the U now works at Penn State where I recruit!
• Using paid time off
• Pittsburgh. Booked. April 4-7 
• Morocco. Booked. April 22-May 5.

• Enjoying performance arts
• Pentatonix...BEST CONCERT EVER (State Theater)
• Mercy Worship Band (Mercy Vineyard Church)
• Achieving airline status 

16% of the way there - Morocco is going to get me close to Diamond Status. Excited to be a frequent flyer ... part of the club, seems adult.

• Activating human drives
• 3 comments on looking different, in a happy/positive way.
• Positive response to new initiatives at work - Competence
• Keeping plants alive
• Work plant - alive and well!
• Home plant - a little droopy, and brown.

• Listening to music instead of watching TV

Not great. I blame the Olympics. Pandora did replace TV in the hotel on my trips - except when I'm in the south and need a good laugh. Then I turn on the news and listen about their "severe" weather.

• Thinking critically for fun
• Tuned into WE14 in Davos via Twitter
• Read Global Gender Gap Index Report

• Living values through time allocation

Sad about missing a Global Shapers meeting because of working late, but in general this is going well. I'm intentional about writing, reading, and my "buckets" of time. Directionally correct.

Work and Jobs

I've been watching the Olympics a lot lately - it's a little mind boggling to think of the dedication of time, energy, and resources these athletes have put into the sport they love. My favorite commercials are those that show them as children just picking up their sport. Then on the Olympic stage as 15 year old athletes - childhood and school looks very different. Of course some professional athletes get paid very well for their sport, especially those playing national league sports, but many of them don't. They still do what they love and gift the world with their talents.

I also went to a Pentatonix concert last week. A capella musicians typically aren't world touring acts or getting paid as such. I'm glad this group is able to - they have incredible talents, and I was a thankful recipient of their show. In addition to being talented artists, it's clear they love what they do.

I've spent a significant amount of time in the last two weeks chatting with people about how they spend their day. I grew up expecting to have a traditional, full time job. Very rarely have I truly worked "9-5" ... work travel requirements, natural night owl tendencies, and desire to be involved in community beyond work has found me in 40-60ish hour/week arrangements that for the most part has been salaried, and relatively flexible. I have primarily had office jobs, this seems normal to me and what I expected to do. It's worked out well enough.

Traditional full time jobs are not for everyone. I sat down for coffee a couple weeks ago, and the girl I'm meeting with tells me, "All I want to do is live and work in India. I can't because I have student loans, but that's what I want to do." Then I'm at French Meadow with a friend, and she tells me about being a yoga instructor and working at a restaurant (and loving it) so that she can spend her days building her nonprofit artist community unpaid. I sit down to have lunch with an urban farmer friend, and he asks, "So what's it like to work a 9-5? I've never had one." 

That caught me off guard. I've heard many a time, "Do what you love and the money will follow." I've always found joy and happiness in my work. I'm fortunate that it's always come with steady paycheck - I'm not particularly driven by money, but do value the luxury of comfortable lifestyle without worrying paycheck to paycheck. I am fairly risk averse if it threatens my ability to be independent. But the list of self created/split/portfolio career examples goes on. I have friends that are: start up church pastor/financial guide; musician/engineer; farmer/nonprofit fellow; fair trade pop up shop social entrepreneur/sexual violence advocate; self proclaimed city evangelist; bloggers; consultants. Incredibly brilliant people, spending their time, talent, and energy giving the world their best self. 

I admire them all for doing what they love. I wish everyone could/would be so bold. So willing to give the world their best. Answering the question, "What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" and then actually doing that. What would you do? It may (probably will) require other people to help, support, and love you along the way. I guarantee that no Sochi athlete got to the Olympic stage on their own. Since that's the case, who can you help? One of my favorite things to do is help people that are unhappy at work think about what they'd like to do more, and do anything I can to support them in getting there. People that are happy with their work/contributions, are also happier in home life, and social life. This ripples as a positive influence to everyone they interact with.

Thanks to a rapidly changing world, careers, industries, technology - the definition of "work" has evolved and it doesn't have to be this awful thing we endure. I'd love for everyone to have a chance to love their work and contribute in a meaningful way. I know I appreciate it, and appreciate people I'm with that have chosen to share their best strengths and talents with the world too.

Awesome Friends: Neel

It was my greatest intent to write once a week about awesome things my friends are doing. I think it's important for a couple reasons - 1) Tell more people about the amazing things people are doing to make this world a better place 2) To remind myself of the incredible people I am blessed to share life with. 

I missed last week. Not because I didn't have awesome friends to write about. Quite the opposite actually, I have a line up of people I want to shout about from a mountain top. I've been traveling for work, and while I thought I'd have more time to write on the road, I end up being too focused on the people I'm with and task at hand to reflect, write, share personally. 

Without further ado - everyone should know about my friend Neel and the album he recently released which you can listen and download at: http://musicbyneel.bandcamp.com/ 

It's hard to find the words that encompass all that Neel does, so I'll use his words: 

"A few years ago I started writing as an escape from life, only to find life after writing & the many doors it opened. I stumbled into 11 countries, obtained an engineering degree, forged lasting friendships, launched a pre-market breathing device, & developed a new children’s toy...all while discovering the beauty in sleepless nights, cold showers, billboard seating, reminiscing, & the serenity that accompanies being a stranger amongst strangers. Most importantly, I found happiness."

In addition to writing incredibly authentic and genuine lyrics about his experiences in life, ambitions, and dreams for the future...Neel produced a book of art to accompany his music for a complete listener/viewer experience. Sneak peak from behind the scenes of the project here.

I'm not the only one who thinks Neel is awesome and worth writing/sharing about:
http://mxdwell.com/article.php?ID=270
http://www.studiiyo23.com/latest-news/neelsharma

I love surrounding myself with people who choose happiness, and are comfortable going against status quo or societal norms to get there. I'm finding it is a common thread among my fellow Shapers in the Minneapolis Hub of Global Shapers - Eric and Neel are just two, I'm thankful to be part of that community and look forward to sharing about the others in future posts!

Balance, Success, and other ambiguous words

I've spent the better part of the last three weeks talking with students at career fairs and interviewing them for full time roles. I used to have a lengthy form of questions to guide a conversation... and after many conversations I realized it really all boils down to two things:

-What do you want to do with your degree?
-What are you looking for in a full time job/company?

And it really is starting to sound like a broken record... everyone wants "work-life balance" and "to be challenged" and "growth opportunities" and they want a job that is "meaningful" at a place that "cares and is socially responsible" so they can be "successful."

And that is all fine and well. Honestly, I would probably say those things too if I was still in school. They sound nice. They sound like all the things you're supposed to say and want. I want those things too... but what I haven't figured out, is exactly what any of those things actually mean. I think they mean something different to everyone, so maybe we'll stick with the vague and say "it depends."

I had to skip a meeting I really cared about tonight because I was at work late. Working late happens, especially when I have such limited in-office days during the recruiting season. I care about my work and want to do a good job, so I typically don't mind. I'm a problem finder... process improvement and experience enhancing projects are exciting. But I've always wanted "work-life balance" and swore after I was done working in nonprofits and with college students, that I'd stop working until midnight and 2am. It hasn't happened yet.

Two weeks ago a 41 year old at our company had a heart attack. I have no idea what the cause was, but my immediate thought was... "he's way too young to be that stressed out" and "if I died next week, would I regret how I spent this week" Getting at this balance thing - we make excuses that we run ourselves into the ground in college for grades to get a job, and then in our job to get promoted. Everyone prioritizes different things - for me it's work, travel, friends, family, volunteering. Maybe that's too many buckets...maybe that's why I always feel "busy" and end up with a sink full of dishes, and a pile of laundry in my room. So I'm doing work and life.. but is it balanced? What does that even mean?

I've been fortunate to career switch and get promoted, and make enough money to pay for a comfortable life, nearly eliminate student loan debt, and afford a second international trip post-graduation this spring. But is that success? I enjoy my job, and those privileges/luxuries... but I don't have the house/partner/pet/child a majority of my friends are choosing. Again, I do believe we all have different definitions. I'm happy and wouldn't give up what I have for anything... I can't help but notice that it all looks so different from what I once thought "success" is/was.

As you might have guessed, a lot of this pondering started when I read, The Charge. It poses the questions - Did I live? Did I love? Did I matter? ... and Am I engaged? Am I energetic? Am I enthusiastic? 

Again, my answer would be yes to all of them. I think. I feel those things...but how do you really know what the perception is from others? And to what degree? Could I be better? Does it matter what I think? or others?

And this is why I'm incredibly thankful to be surrounded by some of the best human beings on this planet. I'm fortunate to have friends and family that support and love me as I figure things out... to join in on the adventures, help to push me when I need it, and tell me to take a break and sleep when I need that even more.

If you're reading this - there's a good chance you're one of those people. Thank you.

Fiercely Independent

I've been called independent before. Often, actually. For better or worse, dependence is something I actively avoid. When I feel like I'm drinking too much coffee, I stop cold turkey for a week - just to prove to myself that I can do it. When I have a headache, or pain of any sort ... I avoid taking ibprofin at all costs. And while I thoroughly enjoy people and being around them, I hesitate to depend on anyone. I will use my phone/GPS for directions instead of asking for them. I use ATMs/online banking instead of going in to see a bank teller. I take public transportation (or walk) instead of rides from other people if I can't drive. I'm a bit of a control freak when it comes to my independence.

This has come up a lot recently, as people have been shocked with how much I travel to the variety of places I go for work. I can figure things out for myself with relative ease. Each week is a new place. Being unmarried, without children, and living alone does make it easier to wander. Nothing misses me except the kitchen sink (and any dishes that may hang out there). 

I'm also a big fan of How I Met Your Mother. So when I was too lazy to get out of bed this morning, I took a quiz online to confirm my suspicions that I'm most similar to Robin Scherbatzky. 

"Fiercely independent, you have a hard time letting people into your inner circle. But once someone makes the cut, you’re ready to drop the gloves and fight for them at a moment’s notice. You know that there’s nothing better than a nice glass of scotch while smoking a cigar. Now let’s go to the mall, dammit!"

So I hate malls, but I did dress up as Robin Sparkles for costume day at work...and I haven't quite discovered a love for scotch yet, but I do enjoy my whiskey. Fiercely independent is what caught me off guard. Sounds aggressive and almost harsh. Hopefully it's in the best way. I don't like to be exclusive about "inner circles" but do hope friends of mine think I'd drop anything to be there for them, I would. And my aversion to dependence, may be in line with "fiercely independent" .. but I don't love labels.

Dependent and Independent are both labels that scare me a little bit. I like doing and being, and thinking in spectrum verses trying to figure out what to call it or being boxed in to a label. Family labels are fine, those I was born with - I will never stop being a daughter, sister, granddaughter. I avoid membership in organizations, although I contribute to and actively participate in many. Being completely dependent, or independent... extrovert or introvert... or even being a "member" to an organization feels weird to me. Which is a little contradictory... because I love self assessments which typically give you a box, letter, color, animal, etc. that you are. I also tend to be a pretty even mix of two ... even my subconscious, personality, and communication style don't like being labeled. I like being Tanya - and my freedom of choice to live in a meaningful way.

At the end of the day, I do appreciate that I can take care of myself and feel in control of my own happiness, choices, and situation. I wish society was less label obsessed and we could all be considered for our unique story and person - so much conflict, judgement, and misunderstanding could be avoided. Thinking such a thing will one day be true is kind of like wishing for "world peace" ... but one can dream, right? 

Awesome Friends: River Road Adventure

Sometimes I think, "I should just drop everything and go on an epic adventure." For the most part, the long-term decision making, and risk averse tendencies learned from my father kick in before I make any truly impulsive decisions. I settle for bowling shoes, or an organized trip to Morocco.

Thankfully, I also have friends that do take the bigger leaps in life to live vicariously through. Adam and Cole are two of those people. They started River Road Adventure with an initial canoe adventure from the headwaters of the Mississippi River to St. Paul in 2010, and set off this fall to finish the river, and bike through South America. So far they've encountered alleged kidnappers, challenging border patrols, and difficult elements... but also amazing scenery, hospitable cities, and friendly strangers.

I'm inspired by their friendship, their sense of adventure, and the community they are building throughout the places they travel through.
Follow their blog and enjoy their stories - it's a great distraction from the terrible winter cold, I promise.

T 

Living in Abundance

This morning as I caught up on life after a week on the road, I happened upon two disturbing and backwards stories related to tomorrow's unofficial American holiday, Superbowl Sunday:

$8 million per minute for Superbowl Halftime advertising airtime. That would buy 320,000 people clean water & sanitation for LIFE! (modified Tweet with statistic from Water.org)

In addition to the largest football game of the year, the Superbowl is the largest annual human-trafficking event in the United States. Approximately 10,000 women were involved in sex-trafficking during the 2010 Super Bowl in Miami. (Source article - worth a full read)  

If either of those statements don't create a pit in the bottom of your stomach, you can probably stop reading. I'm well aware that I come from a place of incredible privilege, and an abundant culture where I can focus on what I want verses need, but this is taking it a bit too far. 

Like most people in the US, I will be gathered with friends eating delicious food and drinking beer around a TV tomorrow. I care very little about the outcome of the football game, but the social opportunity that accompanies it is one of my favorite traditions of the year. Just like saving excess food won't solve world hunger issues, not watching the Superbowl won't give water to those in need, or keep sex-trafficking from happening. These are big problems, and we need big solutions. 

Working in the nonprofit sector with STLF, I felt like I was contributing daily to making the world a better place. I love my job, and do believe hiring talented young people into an ethically run, innovative corporation makes an impact on individuals - but it's not solving global issues of water scarcity and sex-trafficking. I write about these issues today to increase awareness, and invite you (no matter how you spend your 9-5 time) to join me in living a "Charged Life" and focusing my energy to contribute to the world in a meaningful way.

The Charge is one of the reasons I started writing (the link currently offers a free copy, with $7 shipping). It suggests we can each live a "Charged Life" if we choose to. It asks, "Am I living my truth and actualizing my potential? Am I living an inspired life and inspiring others?" My answer to those initially was yes - but as with most things I say out loud, I aim to prove it. The book recognizes that those of us living in abundance with the opportunity to focus on our wants, can have strong and enduring levels of positivity in our heart and soul, a determined mindset where no one can hold us back, and stay motivated to do meaningful work. In living a Charged Life or being Chargers we accomplish more, achieve more, serve more. 

Chargers are:

• Open and observant in the moment
• Future oriented
• Challenge seekers 
• Deeply interested in, and authentically connect with, others
• Self-reliant
• Creatively driven
• Meaning makers

Tomorrow as I watch the Superbowl, I'll continue to think about how we get to systemic change in water scarcity and crimes of sex-trafficking. For today, and every day that follows, I'll continue my journey to being a Charger - accomplishing, achieving, and most importantly serving as best I can.